Say,, did i get a surprise,, PRIZE,,

                                        well GOOD morning SUNSHINE

                            well no its not a shopping bag but its BIGGER than a bread box

 way much bigger  a hole lot bigger like wow holy crap its BIG NOW THIS IS ONE BIG AIR BAG

 on sunday Jeremy rousted  me out of bed like O darkAM  like  430aaaamm  now son theres no life form up at this time like NONE
Happy Birthday DAD put some pants on lets go
so an hour later we stop at starbucks forget the coffee well looking around the cats out of the bag WOW,, at least this time he,s not throwing me out of a perfectly good  airplane and telling me im FREE  now  FLY
now one of the best things i love to do is anything that has to do with flying,, of any kind
however all the flying stuff i did had rotors or wings,, well maybe man has no lift when he flaps his arms after exiting a perfectly good airplane trust me i have the photos  and video to back it up and it aint pretty,,
so
this was a first for me

the pilots slot

now this would cook my hot dogs real nice
now what we had was a 8 place basket  but we still had a lot of room

                                                            comeing down to 1700ft

                                                                                thanks son

one proud dad

                             it was fun crossing over a pond and lookin down

 we only went as high as 2800ft but as low as 25 ft looking for gaters

 well over our heads on the basket was a heat shield to deflect the heat from the burnners  real good thing to he was useing only one bunner 95% of the time but with 2 on now,, i now know how a roast duck feels

               run guys run catch us if you can look at the LAMP POSTmissed it by 10ft on the right side of us

 I need you to VOLUNTEER  with balloon packing Jeremy and the pilot note the hat 35 years ballooning all over the world

             6 guys to pack this balloon in to this small bag 400lb  its good for 800hours 60,000$ new
basket 18,000$ new                             cost of trip   WITH MY SON PRICELESS

 nows the fun part,,,,,,, now as i told you we left starbucks right well darn,,,,
it was three choices OJ,, champagne,,  or mimosa,, and costco donuts  830 AM AND NO COFFEE

                                 i got the Birthday prize see its a champagne balloon at THE END

The nerve to tell me to go fly a dam kite (pick one )

now heres a bearfoot lady  that knows how to MuliTask on the JOB
OR is she sending Chris up his noon sandwich
OR as you see only 4 visitors today so she needed some stress relief
now the instigator that i am i need photos ( or video to see if she can muli- muli-muli-task say with a  hula- hoop a  glass of wine and fly the kite at the same time (not on lighthouse time ) it would be onlyfitting to add that to ones resume and to send to her mom back home
now if you cant guess thats Cherie from  TECHNOMADIA,COM the 2-C,s are on there round the US World Tour Volunteeing there time at Point Blanco  lighthouse  and selling kites to restock there relief fund so thay can attend the 2014 Africa burn  seeing as the 2-Cs missed THE 2013 BURNING MAN

                                                  well old Ben found a neet cool trick

well this week i picked up a  NPW5  for 70$   now your saying what the hells a NPW5 well it seems NASA needed to get in the kite flying,, in case the shit hits the fan and there are no rockets to play with so the boys came up with there own kite unlike all the rest
now most of the guys at NASA are a lot older the new 11m and 18m kites have to much power (this is one time small is better )so thy came up with a 5m kite thats not like the norm that the old guys can fly
now seeing there on NASAs payroll and it needed a name tada NASA power wing 5m
now the young guys coming out of the sand box  lookd at the old guys with a 5m kite got to thinking well bigger is better for young guys to play with well out came the slide-ruler and out came a new kite ,,not to be out done by the old guys they named it NPW9 oneupmanship and still on NASAs payroll to boot

now if you look close you will see how i the  old guy needed to set this 5m kite up seeing as how i did not wish to fly over NASAs rocket range and FAA crap to deal with (O did i tell u i went to NASAs parking lot ) its only fitting i fly it there
 the wind was about 10/13  with gusts about 15
well this was my stop line (thank god) and the truck never moved 1in, but this sucker took off and boy did i have a WORK OUT, say did i tell you its FOR SALE   i,m- down- size -ing
                                                                    anyone got a 3m trainer kite

                        now this is a Prism EO6 on lite wind it will do some rolling tricks but not much
                   u have more fun with pop it up and forget it sheri,s toy

                     now this a delta by delta  cool to fly on any day best in low wind for some tricks

 now this also a dalta but its 48w  with tails  still best in low wind  u would be hard pressed to crash this guy lots of fun  im trying to get a 8ft wide one same as this but 2 wire trickster

 now this snapshot 1.2  small bad boy i spend most of my time with crash and burn  but we need more wind
like lots of wind,, plus this is my newest toy after seeing the guys over in the PNW flying thrers  looks cool to try,, i looked at a kiteboard trainner but for 230$ we stick to the less$$ ones

 small and i mean small  like 12x8in, 70ft of line  and this cool kite looks like its will be fun to fly as soon as i can get some wind  its called a pocket kite i got at Ron-Jons for 7$

now as for winders this is the only way to go,, mine is ,,black,, and  has about 800ft of 30lb, test this is best for one man setup
A note to think about,, in europe,, kites can only go as high as 400ft,, in england 40meters,,          USA 500ft good boys (any one wish to send me a 1000yds of fishing line cheap)


                                                           SO NOW GO FLY  A KITE

If i have a flat tire will my minions have submarine

                                   O,, NO HE RAN OUT OF BACON AGAIN ,,,,,STRIKE,,,,

                                                                      BAR-NAN-NAR           Please

think about it.. its free advice

ATTORNEY'S ADVICE - NO CHARGE 
 
Not A Joke!! Even If you dislike attorneys..You will love them for these 
tips. 
 
Read this and make a copy for your files in case you need to refer to it 
someday. Maybe we should all take some of his advice! A corporate attorney 
sent the following out to the employees in his company: 
 
1. Do not sign the back of your credit cards. Instead, put 'Second form 
of ID required.' 
 
2. When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO 
NOT put the complete account number on the 'For' line. Instead, just put 
the last four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the 
number, and anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through 
all the check processing channels won't have access to it. 
 
3. Put your work phone # on your checks instead of your home phone. If you 
have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. If you do not have 
a PO Box, use your work address. Never have your SS# printed on your 
checks. (DUH!) You can add it if it is necessary. But if you have It 
printed, anyone can get it. 
 
4. Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine. Do both sides 
of each license, credit card, etc.. You will know what you had in your 
wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and 
cancel.. Keep the photocopy in a safe place. 
I also carry a photocopy of my passport when I travel either here or 
abroad. We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us 
in stealing a Name, address, Social Security number, credit cards.. 
 
Unfortunately, I, an attorney, have first hand knowledge because my wallet 
was stolen last month.. Within a week, the thieves ordered an expensive 
monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit 
line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to 
change my driving record information online, and more. 
But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this 
happens to you or someone you know: 
 
5. We have been told we should cancel our credit cardsimmediately. But 
the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you 
know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them. 
 
6.. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where your 
credit cards, etc., were stolen. This proves to credit providers you were 
diligent, and this is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever 
is one). 
 
But here's what is perhaps most important of all: (I never even thought 
to do this..) 
 
7. Call the 3 national credit reporting organizations immediately to 
place a fraud alert on your name and also call the Social Security fraud 
line number.. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that 
called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in 
my name. 
 
The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your information 
was stolen, and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new 
credit.. 
 
By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft, 
all the damage had been done. There are records of all the credit checks 
initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before 
placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has be en done, and 
the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in).. It 
seems to have stopped them dead in their tracks.. 
 
Now, here are the numbers you always need to contact about your wallet, if 
it has been stolen: 
 
1.) Equifax: 1-800-525-6285 
 
2.) Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742 
 
3.) Trans Union : 1-800-680 7289 
 
4.) Social Security Administration (fraud line):  1-800-269-0271 
 
We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about everything. 
 
If you are willing to pass this information along, it could really help 
someone that you care about.. 
 

Subject: paraprosdokian
Paraprosdokian -- A paraprosdokian (from the Greek meaning 'beyond expectation') is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.

  
*  I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

*  Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

*  The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

*  Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

*  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

*  We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

*  War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

*  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

*  Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

*  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

*  A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

*  I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

*  Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

*  I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

*  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

*  Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

*  A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

*  You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

*  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

*  There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

*  I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

*  You're never too old to learn something stupid.

*  To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

*  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

*  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

*  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

*  A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

*  Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

*  I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

*  When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

*  If we are supposed to learn from our mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

 

Those Southerners have a way with words!    
 

 
  
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos: 


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." 

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."   (My Favorite) 

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT) 

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" 

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" 

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop." 

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center ) 

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" 

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." 

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." 

AND THE WINNER IS.... 16.. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."



                                                                     Man Rules

  Finally , the guys' side of the story. 

the rules" 

  Now here are the rules from the male side.    

These are our rules! 
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " 
ON PURPOSE!  

1.   Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. 
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon 
or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be. 

1.. Crying is blackmail. 

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! 
Strong hints do not work! 
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it! 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

1. Come to us with a problemONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. 
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 
Don't ask us. 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something 
Or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both. 
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 

1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we. 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not Acolor. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS. 

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will be scratched. 
We do that. 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. 
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine....Really . 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football 
or Hockey. 

1. You have enough clothes. 

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape..   RoundIS a shape! 

1. Thank you for reading this. 
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.  

all right pick one

yes it,s green now what

 now gods going to get me for this 

 an new meaning for water cop

now that bad boys  cool

Crap !!! im at it again,,, this boys got way to much time on my hands

                                                                                                 TODAY

                                                                  And it taste like real chicken mins the tail

                            THINK,,,,, campers use matches              RV,ers use PROPANE,,,,,,,

 IT all started in New England, we beat there ass all the way to cal a phone i  a , to Alcatraz island and the poor guys had to take IT by Force (it was there island to start with)
they were looking to build a gambling casino damned if the national park service didn,t steal it from then
NOTE
The Occupation of Alcatraz was an occupation of Alcatraz Island by the group Indians of All Tribes (IAT). The Alcatraz Occupation lasted for nineteen months, from November 20, 1969, to June 11, 1971, and was forcibly ended by the U.S. government.

say at my age i can do that to with out the giggles
YOUR NEXT 

Add caption (not on your life)

well u need to turn in your MAN CARD

                                                                you lost your book
                                                                                   u know who u are
                                                                                                 kiss the dog pat the wife go take a nap

it,s free

Steve i dont post much but  as someone that lives in Port St, John   Fl we know how to hide and we do it out in the open most times rest areas truck stops WM  back woods  bass pro we know of one guy that stays between lowes and ramada inn for 2 mo,s fall and 2 mo,s spring at a time and moves north in the summer and a Gal that stays at a frends house at night and the beach days and windsurfs on the river when it blows  theres a web site set up were hone owners let  campers that stay in there yard or driveway

                                        babby boomers  yuppys retirement  home

                                                      ok i got my Abaya  on,,,,   can u see me now,,

                                              what  you mean your tom tom gps is down

1 or 2 nights free

ocale state park is loaded with free sites if u have a 4x4  and a small camper( the big boys are hard to hide) one could spend the winter boondocking here  or cheap look on this site some are free some real cheap this site is allover the USA and u can block out pay sites and use only free sites its how you set your filters Camp:sites    http://freecampsites,net

Kokopelli Dancing for the cat and a red hot shower

                                                              hay u cat   i got rhythm

                                                       say  can u play cat in a tree,,,  by the trunks

 ok it seems i could never find a yellow5gal, water jug when i was on the road but red ones all over the place so thats how i took a shower somewhere i found a NEW CLEAN yes NEW CLEAN red one as a trucker i had all kinds of hoses so to the hardware store i went and came back with a sink sprayer cut a short hose and stuck um together and put the jug on the trucks headache rack WOW my cold shower now if u left the jug out all day in the sun its a hot shower and a dam hot shower at that
so u  wet / soap/ rinse i could get about 3 out of 5 gal,s
some like a pump up spray tank well if u do good u keep it mines fine