You miss me

TIPS FROM THE REDNECK LIBERAL BOOK OF MANNERS


> Never take a beer to a job interview.

> Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them
> It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
> If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
> Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

> 
> DINING OUT

> If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

> Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.
> 
> 
> ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

> A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
> Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

> PERSONAL HYGIENE
> While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
> Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

> Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

> DATING (OUTSIDE THE FAMILY)

> Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

> Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: 'I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the restroom wall two years ago.'
> Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say 'Monday.' If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
> Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, 'Ya' sure don't sweat much for a fat gal.'

> WEDDINGS
> Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift
> Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.

> For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance..

> Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

> It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.

> DRIVING ETIQUETTE

> Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.

> When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

> Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.4.
> 
> When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

> Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
>

> Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
> 
> TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER:
> 
> All the DNA is the same.

> There are no dental records

Looking at the money pit

(   We recently had a guest speaker at our church. He is from India, part of an organization that our church supports.  Before he started his sermon, he asked if anyone had called any customer support numbers recently. 
When several people in the congregation raised their hands, he said, "That's good. That means you won't have too much trouble understanding my accent.

And No I don't go to church"an I'm going to hell for this 

Ain't no pot of gold  in that house more like a outgoing money pit 

But my trucks dry 

My best 3 buddy's today

                    Need I say more NEW is good 

Like we need this

Do you beleave this crap.3 weeks  ago 

stretching for the $$$$$$$$$$$$$

I'm still trying to find a good price on a  discount turkey to cook in my Orion cooker 

Jack me up daddy

Well  it's done thank you so far it's the only one in this park at this time  or can I say I'm out of my mind to do this ok it's bragging rights and it's cool 

There's some 8 in, jack ups out there but thank you I did not  go 8 6 in is just fine 

There's some carts jack kits that you can jack up with a 300$ kit with no A frame but it can't go off road 

 I found a sweet deal on EBay  for 202$ with the A frame kit,, And a golf cart Dealer that had 4  12in rims and tires for 125$ used,,  thats even a sweeter deal most dealers get 450+$$ new 

The only. Thing is the tires are low pro,s not offload,, if I use offload tires it would add 3 more  inches to the high over all,, and  I don't plain on doing any offloading 

There's guys that run the back woods every weekend with  the setup that I have but not this boy

as for  Lights even Sheri thinks that's cool we're looking into it 

Only the fronts done in this photo   Note the change 

Come fly with me,,,,,

Well seeing as how I can't fly kites due to lack of wind And it's to cold out 

I picked up a fan plane ( heli ) to blow air about the house  or should I say crash in to almost every corner,, good thing it comes with spare parts 

So far I still have all ten  I started out with well maybe some raps on the knuckles but it will heal over time,, I'm a slow learner

And yes I did order a 6in lift kit for big daddy's bad boys cart which will be the only one in the park 

Now for the rims tires and spinners,,, ok no spinners   Say under body  led neons light would look cool. Think so 

                       Led,s would look cool  and there cheap to 

                              Or we could try this 

                    Yes I have way to much time on my hands                

I'm thinking

Did someone  say,, Bass Boat,, ya 

Let's see we trade the 5er for a go fast bass tracker,,,no no that won't work 

Having a go fast bass boat in Fl, means some RV folks drop by looking to go out and drink free beer don't help pay for gas and tell tall tales 

But it seems we do know who the best fisher woman is don't we sir 

any buyers yet