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Tuesday, October 11, 2016

For non-computer geeks

:((  Computer Technology for Country Folk... 

1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter. 

2. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood. 

3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove. 

4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk. 

5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood. 

6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood. 

7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood. 

8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time. 

9. PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time. 

10. WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside. 

11. SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season. 

12. BYTE: Whut them dang flys do. 

13. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV. 

14. MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag. 

15. MODEM: Whut cha did to the hay fields. 

16. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife. 

17. LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps. 

18. KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys. 

19. SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs. 

20. MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in the barn. 

21. MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof. 

22. PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine 

23. ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all" 

24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks. 

25. MOUSE PAD: That hippie talk fer the rat hole.

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