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Monday, June 26, 2017

Pooh and P at Dunkin' Donuts

I think I figured out Dunkin' Donuts scheme. they're not in the coffee business, there in the I got to take a shit business.
And how do I know that. Well after walking on the beach yesterday afternoon I decided to stop for Dunkin' Donuts and get a cuppa coffee and a bagel.
where I sat down at the table, I had a view of the whole store, now it was very interesting to note 
Out of 21 people that walked in to Dunkin' Donuts 17 use the bathroom
Out of that 17 used the bathroom only one stopped and got a cuppa coffee to go the other 16 turned around and left never even bothered to buy other words come in for a free shit
So I've come to the conclusion. now I know why Dunkin' Donuts has high prices for their coffee and donuts they're not in it for the food, there in it for the public effluent Service? 
We all know that having a cuppa coffee retails for about $2.12 . 
the actual cost of the coffee that Dunkin' Donuts Produces These are all based on estimates, 
Cup $0.03
Lid  $0.01
Straw $0.005
Coffee $0.15
Sweetner $0.003 for sugar or $0.01 for splenda
Creamer $0.03
Ice $0.20 (depreciation and utilities)
Labor expense 30-35% of price of drink
+other overhead including rent, utilities, franchise fees, etc
Comes out of the inflated price of their product so I could brew one cup of coffee is only about $.15 
So why does it cost two dollars and $.15 for  the average cup of coffee
When you run a store or any Business there's a lot of things that are free napkins condiments refills on drinks parking beautification cleanup regular maintenance staff help using the toilet facilities 
All those things have to come out of the bottom line that the Proprietor has to pay for for the convenience of having customers.
 the other day I got my water bill and I divided it into Thousand gallons increments comes out to about $80 .
if that's all you're paying. that's really not bad but in the city or in an area where you have City septic, you have to add another $95 to  that bill for the privilege of having that shit pumped to the main shit treatment plant
So technically that bill comes out to $175 now you also have to add in a service charge of $35 a month so your bill is actually $210
Now if you have the average toilet let's just round it off to 1 gallon per flush
Now in the 45 minutes that I sat there with my coffee and bagel 
The 21 people just flushed 41 gallons of water down the drain
I'm not going to get my calculator out but In  that 24 hour cycle that's a shit load of water that the proprietor has to pay for. And that's not even taking in the calculation of 7 feet of toilet paper that women use. good Lord forbid if you get any on your fingernails
Or for the 207 feet of toilet paper that you need to line the seat with.
Now us males we use a whole lot less toilet paper.  but we do have this philosophy. even if we spray it on the walls seat,, we're cool,, we're marking our territory and we leave.. it's like signing your name in the snow thing
OK sorry where was I going with this 
So I think a discount is in order.
Yes I think a discount is in order,,,
try this
the next time You go in to Dunkin' Donuts,, and order a cuppa coffee, and maybe a donut? 
An you really don't need to go to the bathroom I think You need to see if they'll give you a discount for NOT using the restroom.  And let's call it what it really is, It's really a poop and pee room 
And while I'm at it,,, why do they call it a restroom,,, you don't go in there and sleep you try to do your business and get out there's no resting involved
And it's not a bathroom damm you certainly don't care to take a bath in there
Now if you're a woman you would call it a powder room. And take 12 of your best friend even if only ones got to Pee 
When was the last time you had your wife or your girlfriend tell you she's got to go take a Pee and drag along 12 of her best friends to watch
Now us guys,, were different. It has a lot to do with LGBT thing even so we won't admit it
Sorry but we don't need ANY of our buddy's there,,

Spray it, shake it, and get out,,,,,

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